Giving Thanks and Finding a New Direction

Sorry for being incommunicado for the last two weeks blog readers! Too many people have gotten access to the free internet provided through the Ministry of Education on the high school campus where I live and so the Media Center felt it necessary to shut down the system for a little while and reset everything. In addition to that, I have been at a bit of a loss for words over the last few weeks (which will come as a huge surprise to those of you who know me well). With December fast approaching, the passing of my first Thanksgiving without my family, and a bit of volunteer drama, tensions and emotions have been running high. There have also been some very fun moments in the last two weeks and great moments of clarity. I will try to share all of these with you.

Things in the classroom have been difficult to say the least. The volunteers were warned by various sources that the students would start to check out and that the whole attitude of Majuro would change come December. The Marshallese take Christmas very seriously and preparations at the many churches began weeks ago. From the dorm, we can hear the music from the practices for the Christmas parties and pageants blasting from over half an American city block away. So much for the piece and quiet of paradise, eh? Consequently, since students are involved in these projects, they are testy, tired, and unfocused with the holiday break on the horizon. It has made discipline in the classroom into a nightmare. In the last week, I feel like my relationship with my students has taken many steps back. They are doing things that I thought I had gotten out of their system; they are breaking rules that I have had established since the very beginning of class. These are easy to follow rules like "no talking when others are talking," "don't throw things across the class," "don't eat in class," and "stay in your seat." While breaking rules like these is part of the fun of being a student, the students do it so blatantly, it is almost offensive. It is like they don't care to show respect anymore. I have gotten tired of trying to enforce these rules kindly, so many more students have been sent to the office and there has been a lot more discipline. However, I am losing steam fast. My students are still getting their lessons and doing their work, but it is not enjoyable to stand in front of the class if all I am doing is doling out discipline. I think that the break will be good for all parties and I do not think that some kind of peace, order, and regularity will be restored to the classroom until the break happens.

It is strange to feel this way now because the week before I came to some profound conclusions about teaching and what this experience has done for me while talking to Bill and Mandy. Teaching has had a lot of parts to it that I did not expect. It has many outlets for all different types of interests and passions. In the classroom I have been able to incorporate my love for grammar, arts and crafts, music, and writing (because we don't have resources, I write a lot of our stories), for example. Outside of curriculum, I am able to influence the kids in their habits and discipline (such as taking notes or not hitting girls (a big one here!)). I really want to invest in the flexibility that the occupation has and start being more than just a teacher focused on curriculum. There are so many more important things that intelligent, motivated people can do when they (we) come to places like the Marshall Islands. I have watched as one of my housemates, Hannah, has created a mentoring program for graduating seniors to help them get into college. I have also witnessed Mandy start a girls' club, a sign language club, and initiate tutoring for her and my lowest students. While I recognize that both Mandy and Hannah have more experience in the education world than I do, they make me feel as if I should be doing more, inside the realm of school activities and outside. I think what has been the hardest for me to come to understand is that its okay to put effort behind something or be passionate about something even if it will only last a little bit or make a difference for a short amount of time. I know that any ideas I push, such as Saturday clean up club or trying to make the brushing of one's teeth a "cool" activity and getting dentistry offices to donate supplies, will most likely not last after I leave the island. Still, I have realized that a large part of teaching is about hope too--teaching hope and having hope. I can only hope that in the few months I have left I do make a difference and that some child--at least one--takes something from what I have do and will try to create and use it in the future. That is all you really can do as a teacher, I think. I have always been afraid of impermanence--I am scared of change and endings to things--but it is a fact of life. In fact, its one of the most beautiful and exciting things about life. I guess its time to embrace it. It is hard to feel this way and the way I spoke of in the previous paragraph at the same time. I once again think that the break will be good for me to organize my ideas and start thinking of ways to apply them. I plan on starting my a capella group at MMS in the third quarter (I have already written up a spoofed version of "California Gurls" by Katy Perry called "Marshall Islanders"). I also hope to formalize our already existing cleaning initiative and organize some kind of donation system for school supplies and dental products as I mentioned before. All of these things are really important here, and I believe that they are all things I can help change, if only for a little while.

Stepping off my soapbox now, Thanksgiving in Majuro was a difference experience for me. Mandy and I decided to take Friday off, our reasoning being that it was the day of the actual holiday in America (we are a day ahead here) and because we both needed a break because we were feeling a bit homesick. Friday was also the day that we planned on having our big Thanksgiving dinner. It was strange to celebrate Thanksgiving on a day that was not Thanksgiving, but not as strange as I thought it would be. While we recognized celebrating an American holiday and taking the day off in another country as kind of a cop out, it was really nice to be able to help Bill cook the meal, which is something that we both do with our families on Thanksgiving. Bill did in fact cook the whole meal (with the exception of some deserts that people brought and my mac-and-cheese, which I insisted on making, since that is always my job during holiday dinners) and it was delicious. We had appetizers of hot sausage, cheddar and pepperjack cheese with crackers, a pepper and olive tray, papaya and cucumbers from one of the volunteer's family's gardens, and deviled eggs (made by my request by Bill since it is my family's staple appetizer at our family events). For dinner, the menu included a huge turkey (wonderfully provided by the Dartmouth and World Teach programs), ham, mac-and-cheese a la Andrew, creamed spinach, green bean casserole, candied yams, garlic mashed potatoes, sausage stuffing, and vegetarian stuffing. Desert included numerous pies, including a homemade apple pie by the World Teach assistant site director Angela Saunders, and homemade ice cream made by Ray, one of the CMI teachers who comes to Thursday night potluck at Yvonne's house. The guest list included all of the current World Teach and Dartmouth volunteers and directors, past and present, on the Majuro atoll, my host father, Kurt Phino, and the core of the Thursday night crew, which included Yvonne, her husband and daughter, and Ray and Laura. We even had two WT volunteers come in from the neighboring atoll to dine with us--Erica and Brooke. In all, the event was a success. The food was tasty (though, no offense to Bill, my dad can throw down in the kitchen pretty hard as well) and I was able to stave off homesickness by bringing together my Majuro family. It was nice to have everyone in one place and I am extremely thankful for them. I was able to talk to my family at the end of our Thanksgiving dinner at home in Chicago earlier in the day and it was great to hear everyone's voice!

That evening was followed by even more revelry at an event called the Tidal Wrave. Created by Michael Honeth, a ripelle who works at the Majuro EPA, the event was intended to be Majuro's first private island rave. Michael rented two boats and an island known as Three Bag Island (so named because it is said that the island is so small that one could only procure three bags of copra, or coconut product, from all of the trees there) and invited a group of ripelles (which I have recently learned is the CORRECT spelling of the word for foreigners/Americans) to come and rave it up! While I was exhausted from all of the excitement from the day before, Alex Huestis and Eric Hahn woke me up and carted me off to the island. I slept away most of the day in a hammock (the longest I have ever slept in a hammock--it was excellent) and that night we played cards and danced the evening away. I even got to play with fire twirlers! That was a short lived experience, however, since I was terrified. We had to wait a while for a boat to come get us the next day, but we left, physically exhausted from all of the beachside dancing we did the night before.

As a final and more somber note, as of last Friday, one of the World Teach volunteers has gone missing in transit from one atoll to the next on a small boat. The boat never reached its destination. The coast guard here has been searching frantically and planes have been called in from Hawaii as of a few days ago. There has been nothing found so far. I have decided to not name the volunteer's name out of respect for the family, the program, and all those involved in the search, but please keep this volunteer in your prayers and best thoughts. We are all hoping for good news.

Until next time (which will be this coming Sunday, I PROMISE!)

Bar lo kom,

Andrew