The Dreaded February Slump

From the very beginning of this experience, as early as orientation at the end of senior year, we were warned of the "February Slump." I was always confused about the idea. I had been away from home many times (though, granted, not for this long or this far away) and was not too worried about becoming homesick. I understood how one would feel homesick around the holidays and how one could be eager to return home as one neared the end of the experience, but the other traits of the February Slump-depression, exhaustion, disinterest-seemed aggressive to me.

But here we are, a week into March, and I can tell you that the February Slump is a real thing. In the middle of the month, I had a moment where I was moping around Majuro and I stopped and said out loud, "Oh my God, it's happening!" I think this slump is the result of the culmination of a lot of different things. February is a strange time of year regardless of the volunteer-experience-in-another-country thing. It is not the first month of the new year, and thus is not the first month of the new quarter, and as a result, the students have started to become a bit restless again. I reported before that my students had been behaving poorly, but their behavior became a HUGE problem during February. This was not just the case in my classroom, but in Mandy's class and, seemingly, the entirety of Majuro Middle School. My classroom management technique--diving the class into teams and giving or taking points based on achievement and behavior--did not phase the students at all. Mandy had the same failure with her own technique. Despite taking off 5, 10, or 50 points, the students continued to behave badly. The issues were simple ones. I kept repeating the same rules and expectations that I had had since the beginning of the year: do not talk when others are talking, stay in your seat, do not throw things across the classroom, respect school property. It was as if I had never given these rules. I began to send students to the office with little warning. I had a week that I termed my "mean week" where I took no nonsense. I stated my expectations and if they were broken students were sent to the office. I do not know how I was perceived by the office, but between Mandy and I, we kept them extremely busy.

Shipping kids off to the office frequently helped in the short run, but the effects were month long. I am sad to say that lost my motivation. While I recognized that I had taught my students a lot of information and that i loved every opportunity that I was given to impart knowledge to my students, I lost interest in teaching THESE students. While the classroom used to be fun, the teaching had become so routine that the classroom had become a big daycare, and I was the only babysitter. This was not what I wanted from this teaching experience, or any teaching experience, as much of a reality as it might be in schools all around the world. I had planned on starting my MMS acapella group this term, but the behavior made me not want to do anything extra for the students. To infuriate me further, I noticed that this behavior was specially reserved for me and that the students were veritable angels for their other, Marshallese, teachers. One day, at the peak of my frustration, I candidly asked the students, "Why do you act this way with me? Is it because I am a ribelle?" Some of them solemnly shook their heads, "Yes." At first I was extremely insulted and felt almost discriminated against by my students. Thankfully, Dan Moore '10 put the response into context for me. He reminded me that I had told him many times about the nature of some of the other Marshallese teachers, how their classrooms where based much more on route memorization and regurgitation and that there was little room for free thought and personal expression in their classes. He suggested that I take it as a sign of respect that they felt as if they could be themselves and be vocal in my class. I took this advice to heart but added that while I wanted to be able to provide a space where the students feel as if they can be themselves, I also want them to be able to be disciplined, since, I have learned, it is an important part of growing up.

During a conversation during 31 Club on Thursdays, I got to the heart of the problem. As I said, I am proud that my students have learned so much from me. But, after having been here for 8 months, I have learned that teaching life lessons, like discipline and respect, is more important than any academic lessons that I can teach. I am even more proud of the fact that the majority of my students now turn in their homework than they actually understand what their homework entails. It was my failure to imbue my students with these life lessons that depressed me about my classroom.

Another thing that made February somber was the departure of Joanna Dai, another one of my Bungalow housemates. She was also feeling the pressure of February, and because of some health inconsistencies and other frustrations, she decided to leave. Jokingly, Mandy and I said months ago that the dorm would end up just being us by the end of the experience, mostly based on the fact that we were the only two people that spent any time outside of our rooms together in the house. Unfortunately, our prediction came true. This was a big blow to the both of us, since the house was finally empty and was a clear sign of things coming to an end. Joanna will be dearly missed from our household.

All of these things, compounded with the growing commitment of the play, made the month of February extremely challenging. I found that each day I only had an hour or so to myself before having to do things for others. I talked to my parents at one point during this hysteria and said, "I don't know how you do this whole adult thing." Their smart rejoinder was, "Now think of doing this for 30 some years and add children." I was immediately apologetic for any trouble I had given them through the years!

While February was hard, it is now March, and things have definitely turned for the better. While my students are not behaving as ideally as I would like, they are behaving markedly better than they were before. The play, while still a large commitment, has come to a head (we had our first night last night, and it was amazing, despite not being able to perform the second half on account of the rain and, subsequently, a power outage) and has become wonderful again. And while the Joanna situation is still sad, having the undergrads here has been great distraction from the empty house (two of them are living in the dorm for the time being). Though, when they leave, Mandy and I will have to deal with being our only company--for real this time.

Bar lo kom,

Andrew